This year, 2011, is the 25th anniversary of Mommy’s death. It seems unreal that it has been that long. I can still smell the French Toast she used to make me each and every morning when I was living at home. On the morning of Don's and my wedding she didn’t disappoint. There it was, waiting on the table for me…my French Toast with “white syrup.” You may ask, “White syrup?” Mom made special syrup just for me because I didn’t like the “brown syrup”. She was the most unselfish person I have ever met. How incredibly lucky I was to have her for the 24 years I did. I remember the hours we used to spend in the fabric store pouring over patterns and material. She would get so excited from my excitement about the new clothes she was going to make me. Whenever I put on a new outfit for the first time for a fitting I felt like a princess. Here was my Mommy who had taken this piece of fabric and made it into something beautiful just for me! How lucky I was! The other day I was going through one of our closets at home and came upon a down vest that she had made. She made lots and lots of these special vests for many people. Each one of these was adorned with fabric, which made each of them unique. I tried it on and felt as through Mommy’s arms were surrounding me with love. Another time I was going through another closet and found the famous black and white tiger stripped vest. Oh my gosh, that was such a luxury! It was made out of a very special fabric picked out just for me by Mommy! The ultimate was Mommy making my wedding dress. We went to this huge warehouse in Reno and picked out the fabric. Of course, Don and I had only been dating a few months so I’m not sure Mommy was as excited as I was. Here was her youngest making a commitment to someone she had only known for a short time. I knew she would come to love him as much as I do. Whenever I see myself in the beautiful dress that she made me I think of the love she had for her family and how she gave so much of herself to others, especially us.
When I got up in the mornings Mommy would be sitting at the kitchen table reading the newspaper and drinking her cup of coffee – of course, in her owl mug – running her finger over the top of it. When I would come home from school she would often be sitting in the back room on the couch reading Good Housekeeping or Sunset. How young and foolish I was then to think, “Wow, Mom doesn’t do much during the day but drink coffee and read.” When I became a mom I soon realized that she had worked all day cooking, cleaning, shopping and doing crafts so that when her family came home she could spend time with us. Speaking of crafts and talent…Mommy was so incredibly talented and shared that gift with us. There were many weekends that we would scour garage sales looking for wool clothing. She would then treat the wool with such care and prepare it to make her famous wool braided rugs. I still have the needle that she used to sew these rugs together. It’s a gentle remember of her love. Then there were the cakes! We often had cakes in our home because she was always decorating them to be these beautiful masterpieces. She made both the brides and grooms wedding cake for our wedding. They were both beautiful! After our wedding we walked into the hall and saw Mom and Dad holding up the groom’s cake. Apparently ants really like cake too! We all had a good laugh about that. I was gifted Mommy’s Viking sewing machine. As a young mom I put it right to work making clothes for our two children plus their bedding. When I would put my hands down to start sewing I would see Mommy’s hands. To this day, I look at my hands and see her hands. Her hands guided me through life and still continue to do so. I look in the mirror and think – Wow, I’m looking more and more like Mommy each day. In the past 25 years I have kept her spirit alive in my heart and in my family’s hearts. Linzie and Derek were so young when she died that I didn’t want them to not know how incredible their grandma was. Danny had the fabulous idea of putting our thoughts down and compiling them so that generations to come will be able to share in the beauty and wonderness of Mommy. My heart aches everyday for Mom. I have needed her comfort and love so many times over the past 25 years as I venture through life. What I do know is that she is looking down on her family and is very proud of everything that we have all accomplished, but more importantly, to see that we truly are a family who cares and loves for each other each and every day. She lives in our heart.
